so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
