It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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