Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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