Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
