i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
