He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
