You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
