my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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