His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
