so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
