Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
