What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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