Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
