i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Sext me about skeletons
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize