smell my finger.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
