You're my little dorito
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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