and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
