It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
