YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
