this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
