YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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