Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
