well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
