What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
