I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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