if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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