I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
