Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
