So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
