I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
