SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
