kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
