scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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