I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
