I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
