I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize