she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
