Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
