Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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