dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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