Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
