Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
