i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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