I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
