She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
In America we eat man semen.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
