we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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