Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize