yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
