I wannas sexs uuuuu
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize