He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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