you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Randomize
