LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
