Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
whose parrot is this?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
