Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
