He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
