that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
