so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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