tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
