just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
please don't ironically join a cult
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