just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Rumble strips road head = magical
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
