There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
even my farts smell like vagina
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
