Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
